No! Child Left Behind

Nerdhood came to me at an early age. I was the weird kid who loved to learn. At night I would sneak into the tiny hallway between my sister's room and mine and read random excerpts from our vintage Encyclopedia Brittanica set.

Imagine my complete incomprehension at having a daughter who doesn't enjoy learning. In my small brain, to dislike learning is akin to...disliking to breathe! School has been a bit of a battle these last 2.5 years. Sometimes a single assignment  takes hours to complete. Not because of difficulty of the assignment, but because of the unwillingness to get it done. As a result, homework time is dreaded by both parent and child.

Fast forward to the end of the school year, and report card day. B, B+, C, C+, N, N. What? What's an "N"? What happened to D & F?

Thanks to legislation for "No Child Left Behind", the report card reads like a feel good summary for the end of year, instead of the reality: my child failed 2 classes out of 6. But don't worry- she still gets to go onto the 6th grade, no educational help needed. Wait, what?

Sister and Friend Azminda Roa: 1958-2011

Our prayers for others flow more easily than those for ourselves.  This shows we are made to live by charity.  ~C.S.Lewis

I recently lost a very dear friend. She was young, she was vibrant, stubborn, wise and independent. I could fill pages telling you how amazing she was. Is. I have tried to grieve, have tried to leave this in God's hands, but I have not yet found peace. 


My thoughts have very often turned to my memories of my friend. I find myself overwhelmed by her great acts of service and charity. Time and time again, I remember the kindness she showed to those around her, and the love she sowed. I was many times a witness to her service to others. I was many times the recipient of such service. She had a very strong personality and was therefore often misunderstood. But her heart, her spirit was indomitable and obedient and caring.


She left us too soon. I wish I could have been with her or visited her before her passing. I am comforted by my religious beliefs that there is a life beyond this one, and that my dear friend is at peace from this conflicted world, suffers no longer, and I will yet see her again. But in the mean time, I feel the most dire urge to remind everyone: cherish this life. Cherish your loved ones.


My grandmother, and now my mother, often tells me, "Somos prestados." This roughly translates to "we are only here on loan," as if to say God grants us but a short time on this earth, then we are returned back to his care.


And today I am keenly reminded, we are but loaned.


To my dear friend and sister, Azminda Roa- may the richest blessings be poured down upon you now that you have departed this side of the veil. Thank you for the legacy of friendship and service you have left to so many on this earth. Your absence is keenly felt. You are loved. I look forward to the day when I meet you again.

Betwixt and Be Tween

Growing up, there were kids and teenagers. There was no special demographic called "Tweens". You were either a kid who rode your bike around town & played till the sun went down, or you were in Highschool and a bonafide teenager. Today we have an entire market built around the ages of 10 to 13, complete with clothes lines, body care, TV shows and cell phones.

And I, am the proud, if befuddled, parent of one of these tweens. She's 11 and I'm constantly trying to keep up and keep her in check. This week Disney's Shake It Up is totally in and Justin Beiber (thankfully) is SO out. Jonas Brothers are a distant memory. Jeans MUST be skinny jeans or they will languish on the shelves and shoes is a complete guess (I think my kid is a sneaker type). Peace signs are cool, dancing is hip, and a tween should NEVER be seen holding a parent's hand.

It's a daily effort. As many parents can attest, you take the good with the bad. We try to find common ground (we can agree to watch the FoodNetwork when I'm SO over Disney channel, and we both like strolling through IKEA), and we learn together. I don't always feel like the best parent, but I get us to therapy, read tons of books and do my best.

My niece and I are celebrating 2 years together. I cannot believe how quickly those 2 years have passed. Some days I feel like she's been with me her entire, sassy life. Others, I wonder at each moment which has passed. Yet somehow in these 2 years, I still haven't gotten my head wrapped around how the heck to deal with this complete person who is in such physical and emotional transition. What do the demographic studies say about that? :)

Ice cream, Popsicles, Tonsils, Oh My!

I was blessed enough to land a new and amazing job this last November. It has been such a miracle in my life. I'm still working away with design and marketing, so really, what more could a girl ask for. So when I fell slightly ill over the holidays, and that slightly ill migrated into seriously ill, I was a little bit bummed. Doctor appointment after doctor appointment, I had turned up with a bunch of strange "kid" illnesses which I had never before experienced: tonsillitis, bronchitis, sinus infection, unidentified throat weirdness, ear aches, eye infection (??).

After finally seeing an ENT, I was diagnosed with a whopping case of Cryptic Tonsillitis, I made the first available appointment for a tonsillectomy. My fantastically wry doctor warned that anyone over 20 would face a "very difficult recovery" with at least "2 weeks flat out in bed". However, he did advise I could eat all the ice cream, popsicles and smoothies I wanted. Not great food for a non-ice cream lover (don't hate!).

Singles Life Happily Interrupted

I am putting this out to the Universe and anyone who will listen: My singles lifestyle was happily, and unexpectedly interrupted with the arrival of my niece. She is my child, as much as any child of mine every can or will be. I feed her, bathe her, play with her, scold her, tell her stories, take her camping, do homework with her, teach her to cook, sing with her, pray with her, pray for her, love her.

She has been a significant investment, as are all children. She is loaned to me by God, as are all children loaned to their parents. She frustrates me, she makes me laugh, she makes me ache, she makes me grow and stretch, she makes me cry. She is what I live for every day.

To those I know who cannot or refuse to attempt to understand why I would accept this beautiful child into my life, or can only say: you are selfish and broken. To not want children or not have them is understandable. Not everyone is cut out for parenthood or wants to be a parent, and that's OK. But to treat others differently, shun them or ignore them because of a child- that is unacceptable. Parents are not lepers. Single parents are not defective (or lepers).

I live a life without regret over decisions I have made, both good and bad. I accept my flaws and imperfections. I am not a saint or a superhero. But I will not apologize for being a parent, or for providing a life for a child who would not otherwise have one. To those who treat me differently because of this- I forgive you. But get over yourselves.

Wanted: An Help Meet

Don't usually take up blog space to complain, so this is a brief break from the norm. I'm tired, anxious and just over-worked, and I really need sex. Yes- I just said sex in my blog (calm down, Mom). So here is my ad for a husband. Totally serious. Mostly.
 
CSMBT (for those not in-the-know, that stands for Curvey, Single, Mixed-Breed Tia) seeks single male. Must be practicing LDS and have all of own teeth. Must like kids (not in a creepy way), as I am mom to my 10 yr old niece. Must also like or tolerate 2, small-breed dogs named after nerdy, fictional characters.

I am an excellent cook & home-keeper and am also happy to work outside of the home. I pack lunches and cook dinner. I don't like having to wake up early to cook breakfast, but will provide cereal. I love to clean & do laundry, but am not crazy about folding it.

I'm not looking for someone to take care of me, but to share a life with. I'm independent and encourage men to have hobbies (barring porn & nudie bars) outside of the home. Excellent kissers preferred. Nerd factor a total bonus & turn on. If you love Kung-fu, we might even be soul mates. Apply via email. Or show up at my place w/ a diet coke.

Tell your friends. Pass out my number. Blind dates are acceptable. The man who lands me will be lucky...and blessed. For reals yo.

Unconquered

My company had a mandatory meeting today- in a movie theater. Naturally, a movie followed the meeting. It made for a very long day, and I was less than cheerful to attend, since this meant extra travel and making baby sitting arrangements for my child. Plus, I'm a movie snob and the movie was a secret. I feared the employees would be forced to watch some lame chick flick (no offense, chick flick lovers!).

As it turned out, the meeting was brief, and the movie was an underdog story: "Invictus." The story is that of apartheid-era South Africa and Nelson Mandela's use of the national rugby team to unite a nation. The movie itself was nice enough. But I cried during and after, and probably will again. President Mandela spent 27 years in prison for his political beliefs, then rallied for and forgave the very people who put him in prison. In the movie (don't quote me on real-life), Mandela says the words of a poem are what carried him through his darkest hours of captivity on Robben Island.