01 September 2010

Wanted: An Help Meet

Don't usually take up blog space to complain, so this is a brief break from the norm. I'm tired, anxious and just over-worked, and I really need sex. Yes- I just said sex in my blog (calm down, Mom). So here is my ad for a husband. Totally serious. Mostly.
CSMBT (for those not in-the-know, that stands for Curvey, Single, Mixed-Breed Tia) seeks single male. Must be practicing LDS and have all of own teeth. Must like kids (not in a creepy way), as I am mom to my 10 yr old niece. Must also like or tolerate 2, small-breed dogs named after nerdy, fictional characters.

I am an excellent cook & home-keeper and am also happy to work outside of the home. I pack lunches and cook dinner. I don't like having to wake up early to cook breakfast, but will provide cereal. I love to clean & do laundry, but am not crazy about folding it.

I'm not looking for someone to take care of me, but to share a life with. I'm independent and encourage men to have hobbies (barring porn & nudie bars) outside of the home. Excellent kissers preferred. Nerd factor a total bonus & turn on. If you love Kung-fu, we might even be soul mates. Apply via email. Or show up at my place w/ a diet coke.

Tell your friends. Pass out my number. Blind dates are acceptable. The man who lands me will be lucky...and blessed. For reals yo.


  1. I LOVE you!!! That was the best post ever. Heath and I laughed so hard about your honesty and wittiness!

    I wish I knew someone who deserved you. You rock!

  2. Ditto. I think this is the best, most honest personal ad I've ever seen!!

  3. Actually, I do have a second-cousin that I met in the MBA program from BYU. He is such a sweet guy and I'm sure you two would have fun hanging out! And he lives in SLC. He's really smart although I don't know that I'd call him a nerd (unless I'm a nerd also, which I might be). How should we go about this?

  4. This is awesome!!!! I love your honesty about sex...I agree that it is a necesity.

  5. You are the BEST! I love your honesty too! Good luck my friend I know you will find someone who deserves you :-)

  6. Love it! Wish I knew someone single that I could recommend.